Get Her To Choose You Over Him: 5 Ways To Be The Man She Wants

You are totally into this girl and things seem to be progressing nicely. Her face lights up when you walk into the room, and she likes to touch your arm or brush the hair out of your eyes. Every fiber of your being wants to make her your girlfriend.

But how do you know she’s not treating all of the prospective males in her life the same? Perhaps your heightened spidy senses make it feel like you are not the only one wishing to win her heart.

With that being the case, what can you do to get her to choose you over him?

1. Skip The Head Games And Be Direct

According to a question posed on, you could get caught up in the “Area Code Rating System” and start ranking all the women you meet with a ridiculous system. If you do, you are probably not looking to secure a lasting relationship. Remember, love is about following your heart.

There is no need to conjure up head game statistics to decide if she would be cool enough to introduce to your buddies down the road. If you like her, be honest and upfront about it. Otherwise, she might choose the other guy simply because she didn’t think you were interested.

2. Caveman Communication: Understand What She Really Wants

Men and women are from different planets. Thanks to John Gray for defining some of our key differences and unlocking the male and female brain with the Mars/Venus system.

Guys spent their initial cave man years hunting with other men in silence for days as they stalked woolly Mammoths and other big game. They would be gone for extended periods of time and then drag these thousand pound animals back to camp.

No wonder they disappeared into their caves with nothing more than a triumphant grunt upon arrival; they were exhausted!

The Vocal Species Evolves

This system forced the women species to be vocal. They had to communicate new language skills and teach the youngsters how to skin, clean, and preserve the animal. Crews had to continuously gather firewood while the flesh was prepared.

While the men slept, the women had to vocalize orders in order to prevent their huge supply of meat from becoming rancid. They had to make moccasins and fur clothing out of the animal’s hide and tools from the animal’s bones. Interestingly enough, these primal patterns are still prevalent today.

His Ideal Date

A man will take a lady to the movies and happily not speak with her for hours. He may even take her rock climbing or on some epic sporting event where chatting is nearly impossible. He feels close to her simply by sharing her space and being in her vicinity. Evolutionarily, this is reminiscent to the caveman days of hunting in silence.

Her Ideal Date

She on the other hand will probably enjoy the movie but would love to go for coffee or dessert afterwards to discuss the show and have a nice long talk. She is hardwired to talk and may feel distant if the date simply comes to an end after the movie.

This scenario plays out all the time with men zoning out in front of the TV almost in a meditative state and the woman feeling lonely in the same room. Use this information to plan dates, activities, and experiences that will bring her closer to you both physically and emotionally while she’s bored out of her mind hanging out with “those other guys”. Communicate with her rather than just spending time in her vicinity.

3. Exude Confidence

At least you no longer have to hunt woolly mammoths! Even so, being confident about yourself and where you are headed in life is ultra-attractive to a woman. She likes some semblance of direction and security. Being wishy washy about all of your future goals is a red flag.

4. Get To Know HER

When it comes down to you vs. the competition, she wants to know you really care and have her back. If you are not willing to fight for her and simply give up the moment another guy comes into the picture, she will be able to sense that.

Women want to feel sought after and desired. They want to feel like they are the only woman you want to share your time with. This may seem counterintuitive, but by not giving her all of your time and attention, she’ll actually want you more and will work harder to get the attention she isn’t currently getting.

To use this to your advantage, let her know that you have other ladies waiting to hang out and prospective dates on the horizon. This will signal to her that you are a sought after individual who will not wait around forever. Friendly competition can be utilized by both sexes.

5. Personal Growth

Knowledge is power. Spending some time developing your own emotional intelligence will help get her to choose you over him. Women love to hear you are working on developing your strengths and understanding your weaknesses.

If you seek happiness in anything exterior of yourself, you may be prone to repeatedly giving your power away. Remember, you alone are responsible for your day and your feelings. Don’t let the actions of others or your own inactions negatively influence you.

In other words, don’t let jealousy over another guy going after the woman you want cause you to act in a way that turns her off and pushes her into the arms of her other suitor. Use your actions to control your emotions, not the other way around.

Lastly, here are a few great reads that can give you a personal advantage and get her to choose you over him:

The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle: Learn to define ego and detach from it to live a much more productive and happier life.

Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting” by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” by John Gray

You might also want to check out the Girlfriend Activation System which is an ideal way to become a woman’s obvious choice, and a great way to get a woman to choose you over another guy. Learn more about it over at